


over

by soniclipstick (veriscence)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Avengers: Infinity War, Post-Canon, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Snippets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-25 06:22:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13828350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veriscence/pseuds/soniclipstick
Summary: It breaks Steve’s heart, that even when it’s all over and done with, it isn’t. Even when they put their weapons away and try to live the life and sleep in the bed that they now share, they’re still fighting a seemingly never-ending war on the home-front.For the Cap-IM Alphabet Challenge 2018 - I'd chosen the letter O.





	over

Long after Tony’s fallen asleep, curled up in bed beside him, Steve stays awake to watch him. Tony is a despairingly light sleeper. Steve doesn’t dare touch. Steve is close enough that he can feel the heat radiating from Tony’s body, but is still as stone so he may not wake him up. Steve aches to fall asleep in Tony’s arms, his head pressed against his chest and his heartbeat a steady lullaby. He has learned to settle for being woken up to forehead kisses and cuddles before Tony runs off to work.

A few years ago, the idea that between the two of them, Tony would be the one early to rise and late to bed would have left him wheezing with laughter. The years since then have been determined to teach him how wrong he was about so many things. Thanos has been defeated, and the Accords have been removed, but that doesn’t mean Tony’s work is over. He’s still the buffer between the Avengers and the rest of the world, even with support from the likes of T’Challa, Shuri and Everett Ross.

Tony sleeps terribly, with three blankets because he can’t bear the cold, even less than Steve can. Then again, Tony remembers the eleven hours he’d lain in a cold bunker in Siberia, whereas Steve’s seventy years in the ice went blessedly forgotten. Tony’s sweating now, and Steve sees the telltale signs of a nightmare, but he knows better than to touch him. Instead he sits up in bed and waits for Tony to startle awake. Depending on the dream, Tony will either want him closer, or shy away. When he does, he takes one look at Steve, then frantically falls out of bed, cowering on the floor, his hands a shield over his head.

Siberia, then.

Steve bites off a sob and swallows his guilt and grief in a fraction of a second. Self-wallowing will have to wait. Tony needs more help than Steve is good for, but Steve is what Tony wants and so Steve is what Tony has. He climbs out of bed, slow, careful movements that are meant to be non-threatening. “Sweetheart, it’s alright, it’s over now,” he whispers as he walks around the bed towards Tony. “It’s the eighth of June, the year is twenty-eighteen, and you’re in our bedroom in the Avengers Compound in Upstate New York. You’re home.”

“You–” Tony chokes on the word, crawling away from him on the floor.

Steve stops. It breaks Steve’s heart, that even when it’s all over and done with, it isn’t. Even when they put their weapons away and try to live the life and sleep in the bed that they now share, they’re still fighting a seemingly never-ending war on the home-front. Steve hates his uselessness. But they must move on, and the only way out is through. “It was only a dream,” Steve tries to assure him despite the cracking of his own voice. “You’re alright. You’re home. I love you, and you’re safe. It’s over now.”

Steve repeats those short sentences as a mantra, whispering just loud enough that Tony can hear, but not enough to startle him.

Recognition returns in Tony’s eyes. He sits himself down on the ground, back pressed up against the wall and hugging his knees. Steve waits for Tony’s nod before coming to sit beside him on the floor, placing his hand on the wood floor between them. They breathe in and out of their mouths, counting their breaths. Tony’s bare feet look cold, Steve really should have grabbed the duvet before joining Tony on the ground. He forgets every time. For now, he’d rather not risk spooking Tony with any unexpected movements.

They sit facing the floor-to-ceiling windows that open out to the forest surrounding the compound. The soft glow of the jellyfish night light, a birthday gift from Peter, is the only source of light in the room. It casts shadows over their legs and their bed. He’s so focused on Tony’s breathing that he doesn’t hear the movement until cold fingers brush against his wrist. Steve turns to his right and Tony’s eyes are so full of love that Steve’s eyes fill. The tentative touch turns into a tight grasp of his wrist.

“Come here,” Tony finally says, and pulls him closer. Steve lets Tony arrange him in his lap, pressing his face against Tony’s abdomen and breathing in the scent of Tony’s body lotion.

“I’m sorry,” Tony whispers as he cards his fingers through Steve’s hair with one hand, the other once again tight around his wrist.

“We said we wouldn’t apologise for this.” The first time Tony had apologized for having a nightmare, Steve hadn’t been able to hold in the wretched sobs that had jumped out of his throat. Steve wasn’t even sure he should be in the same room as Tony at night. But a few months of therapy later, this is where they’ve ended up. “It’s alright. You’re home now. It’s over.”

“It’s over,” Tony echoes. “It’s over.”

He falls asleep from one breath to the next. When the first rays of sunlight awaken him, Tony’s cold fingers are still stroking his scalp. “I’m getting too old to spend the night on the floor, Steve.”

Steve sits up. “Friday, could you please turn off the alarms and cancel any morning meetings Tony has?”

“I’m on it, Cap. Should I let Sergeant Barnes and Sergeant Wilson know that you will not be joining them on the morning run?”

“Yes, please. Thank you.”

Tony cracks his neck, then pulls himself off the ground. Steve follows him to the bed, but Tony doesn’t lie down. Instead he turns back to look at Steve. “Get in bed.”

Steve lies down on the right side. “What exactly are you waiting for?” He asks as Tony contemplates with a furrowed brow. Tony shakes his head. Instead of climbing onto his side of the bed, he presses himself flush against Steve’s body, until their legs are tangled together, and Tony’s hair is tickling Steve’s chin.

“Can you stay like this?”

Tony’s a comfortable weight above him. Steve presses a kiss to the top of his head, then pulls away to reach for the blankets. Once they’re covered, he wraps his arms around Tony. “I can now.”

“Good, then don’t move.” Only Tony Stark can order Steve to do something with that much tenderness in his voice.  

Steve obeys, letting Tony’s palms at his sides still him. He’s no fool. This is not the end. It’s not all over. This won’t be the last night of nightmares either of them will experience. But if he stays very still and silent, he can faintly hear Tony’s heartbeat. Steve can dare to hope that the worst of it is over.  

He focuses on that heartbeat, and lets it lull him to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it:)


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